Oh, hi there!
Fancy seeing y’all here.
How’re you guys doing? It’s been a minute, I know.
Lots gone by, lots done changed, and so, therefore lots to talk about.
Pull up a chair or find a nice pillow.
The kettle has just boiled, and I’ve brought cookies.
No, you can’t have one, but it’s the thought that counts.
X
My first post on this silly little site was over four years ago.
My last was 19 months ago—a double-billed review of one of my favourite authors.
Oh me, oh my, how time doth fly when you’re stuck in a cycle of existential crisis.
Let’s do a quick rolodex round-up of what’s gone on since then and choose what we actually do give a crap about looking into?
I’ve been to two Strongman Competitions and seen some of the nicest blokes in the world make every man in the room (excluding my father) feel delightfully inferior.
I went to 6 different comedy shows and seven different theatre performances (not including the long-awaited repeat of a certain ‘Magic’ experiment. For science and science ONLY.)
I met Matt Smith and lost the power of speech.
I went to the Eras Tour with my brother and had genuine palpitations when she came on stage and when she brought out Florence and the Machine as a guest performer, I went borderline catatonic.
I graduated with a 2:1 in my Creative and Professional Writing Degree.
I started my Masters in the same field in September 2024.
I was left unattended in a bookshop and only left with two bags of books…
… and a dragon.
I reached 25 with no broken bones or criminal convictions and in possession of an exceptional sense of humour (I’d like to thank my trauma and various mental instabilities for their help with that one!)
I discovered I very much enjoy doing (relatively simple) DIY projects and having unsupervised access to construction tools.
I read 60 books, including 23,062 pages and 122.57 hours of audiobooks.
I wrote. And I wrote. And I wrote some more.
UNFORTUNATE ADDENDUM:I/We watched Pumpkin Spice Palpatine once more become the American President. I truly didn’t think I’d have to add that to the list of fuckery that’s taken place since we last spoke.
And of course, I like to think it goes without saying that I have made every effort and taken all opportunities to be the most feral of beings I can be – got no plans on changing that particular resolution either 😘
With everything I have had to do and been lucky enough to do, some things had to give, and inevitably one of them was this poor little gremlin-site of mine. In the world of priorities, it did sadly, but truthfully, sit quite close to the bottom of the heap.
But I always knew I’d be back - if for no other reason than to burn the fcker down and dance upon the ashes.
Thankfully, proverbial crime-brulee is not the purpose of my return.
Nay, nay - I hath come to denounce the haters, dissuade rumours of my death and/or possible arrest (in the least ‘dormant serial killer-y’ way possible) and to let you know that…
THE BITCH IS BACK!
And she has stories to tell…
(Tis me. I’m the bitch.
Woof.)
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