“Oh you don't know what sadness means
Till you're too sad to fall asleep
One day I'll be snoozing peacefully
But surely not today…” ~Not today by Alessia Cara So the more observant among you may have noticed I didn’t take y’all to the movies on Wednesday. Or post about my trips and travels on Friday. Not sure if anyone was exactly waiting for them, but I feel like I owe you an explanation as to why anyway. Short explanation? Depression is a mother f*ckin BIATCH. Yeah, this has not been a good week. Holy crap on a cracker I’ve been so goddamn sad. Still kinda am. I’ve alternated between crying, eating and napping. There isn’t really a big message to this post if I’m honest. I just felt like I owed an explanation plus I wanna vent. But I’m gonna try to be a bit positive. PMA and all that. And seeing as this week was Thanksgiving for the Americanos among us, I’m gonna be cheesy as all hell and make a list of the things I’m thankful for, things I won’t let my f’d up brain ruin. 1 – I have a job that I love. 2 – My parents are the most amazing people who support me (with a bit of gentle bullying) through everything. 3 – I went to a doctor’s appointment on my own for the first time and I didn’t cry (yes I am almost 21, don’t you sit there and judge me) 4 – I’m trying to be more healthy and I think I’m doing okay. 5 – I HATE BEING HEALTHY… but I haven’t let it stop me. 6 – As of today my house looks like Christmas has puked on it. Yeah I think six is about as much as I can do at the moment, but I think it’s a start. Baby steps. Also if anyone is feeling bad, I’d recommend listening to Not Today by Alessia Cara, it’ll make sense when you here it. “One day the thought of him won't hurt the same
Won’t need distractions to get through the day, I guess I hope I’m gonna be okay… Coz I’m not today.” Hopefully see you tomorrow for a trip to the library.
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